


One's Biggest Failure

by Jonk



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Other, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 16:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17665859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonk/pseuds/Jonk
Summary: "What if someone had died tonight? Different story, right? 'Cause that's on you. And if you died? I feel like that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience."What if Peter hadn't made it after the incident with the ferry? Was Tony meant to rot with the guilt?I suck at summaries.





	One's Biggest Failure

     Tony took a deep breath before stepping through the church doors. His black suit outshone majority of the others’, although that definitely didn’t add to his mood. He looked around, guilt swelling up in his chest. Whereas his suit was spotless, all the others were patterned with small tear drops, or had faint lines where they hadn’t been able to fully iron out wrinkles from the cheap fabric.  
After a few seconds, he spotted the woman he was looking for, although he was surprised he hadn’t noticed earlier, as she was surrounded by people giving her hugs and sharing their condolences, as well as giving their support. May Parker. Peter Parker’s aunt, and the only known live family member of his. He started moving his way over to her, some people seeming shocked at _the_ Tony Stark being present in such a small gathering, others simply ignoring him due to the grief. He saw the boy that Peter had talked so much about, Ned, together with another one of Peter's friends, both sobbing while holding one another close.

  
     People parted a bit as Tony neared May, only for him to receive a sorrowful sneer. Despite being a little surprised, he shook it off. People acted different when grieving. The air between the two felt uncomfortably thick, almost choking him.  
     “I'm really sorry about what happened, Mrs. Parker. I know how-”  
     “Oh cut it, Stark” she made a face at him. “It's your fault that my nephew is-” her voice trailed off. Tony felt a clump in his throat as she couldn't finish the sentence. Dead. It was his fault that he was dead. He felt the dread and guilt wash over him. He was the reason that Peter Parker was dead.

     May started bawling again, the crowd watching him curiously as he stormed out of the church, clutching his chest. He felt the panic, the anger, the frustration cover him. If he had just been a little quicker, or if he had just been notified a minute earlier. He could've stopped all this from happening.  
     He quickly entered the car that he drove there himself, since he hadn’t wanted to bring Happy along to the event. His breathing was uneven, and his mind was racing along with his heart.  
     Why would the kid remove his tracker? Why would he feel the need to prove himself so badly that he’d risk his life like that? Had he been a bad role model? He hadn’t even wanted to be a “role model” in the first place. He wasn’t _fit_ for that.

     He always admired Peter for his intelligence and bravery considering his age, although, the latter was what killed him in the end. His need to save everyone and the irresponsible decisions to act immortal brought him to his end, and as Tony thought this to himself, he couldn’t help but let the words May had said take control of him.  
     He was why Spider-Man, Peter Parker, was dead. He was the reason why his lifeless body now was in a casket. The kid got hit by the high-end tech, and due to excessive movement, his body never got to heal. He lost his grip on the boat parts, falling into the water. Tony had been too busy with the ferry to realize that Peter was nowhere to be seen, going into a panic once he realized that there was no sight of him. He dipped under the ferry after mending the two metal halves together, seeing him float lifelessly in the water.  
     All that went through his head was a repeat of no’s. _No, no, no, no, no_. Everything felt like a blur as he scooped Peter into his arms, shooting out of the water to get to land. The helmets front was up and gloves thrown off as he started giving Peter CPR.  
     Nothing.  
     No breathing.  
     No coughs and sputters.  
     No longer would he get to hear the kid say “Mr. Stark,” in his small voice, filled with admiration.  
     No longer would he get to roll his eyes as yet another update from Happy comes through about Peter being ready for a mission.  
     Nothing more.

     Tony grabbed his shirt, sobbing in the car seat. He has seen and experienced death. He had felt it creeping underneath his skin before.  
     But seeing the pale, lifeless face, of a young, innocent boy that he was supposed to mentor. To watch grow. To help become a hero. It had broken him. Knowing that it was his fault. He wanted to go in there and participate in the funeral. He wanted to wish condolences, and put the expensive bouquet by the open casket. He wanted to see Peter’s body one last time before it was too late.  
     But he couldn’t. He had failed, and he knew that. He settled on deciding to leave the bouquet by the gravestone later, but for now, he couldn’t face his aunt May. He couldn’t face Peter. He couldn’t face his guilt, his mistakes, and his faults.  
     He couldn’t face this extreme failure.  
     He’d be lucky if he'd survive the alcohol he was going to drink in order to attempt to forget this, despite knowing that he never would.  
     Because how could one forget their biggest failure.


End file.
